elishamanning:

where did i go wrong in my life to let myself care this much about sports

incorrectfootballerquotes:

Lionel Messi: How was your day?

Luis Suarez: I didn’t kill anyone.

Lionel Messi: That’s a pretty low bar but I’ll take it.

incorrectfootballerquotes:

Joshua Kimmich: I want a baby

Leon Goretzka: No.

Joshua Kimmich: Oh ok.

Leon Goretzka: Wait! Don’t ask another guy I’ll do it!

incorrectfootballerquotes:

Benjamin Pavard: How long did it take for you guys to start liking me?

Corentin Tolisso: Instantly.

Kingsley Coman: A couple of weeks

David Alaba: Several Months

Leon Goretzka: Jury’s still out

incorrectfootballerquotes:

Robert Lewandowski: Small creatures are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up in

Jerome Boateng: Ridiculous. Give me one example.

Robert Lewandowski: Spiders

Thomas Müller: Scorpions

Leon Goretzka: Joshua

superherojoshua-deactivated2023:

I can’t- 🤣

mushroomseb:

i’m not crying, you are

goretzkaxhavertzxgnabry-deactiv:

well… I tried

footie-stuff-x:

Joshua, drunk: I’m not drunk

Julian: Yes you are.

Joshua: I’m not!

Julian: Then can you tell the time?

Joshua: *Turns To Clock* Hey, I’m NOT drunk!

Julian:

Joshua:

footie-stuff-x:

Legit everyone: Is that all you’ve got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?

Neymar: Dude, that could be the title of my autobiography.

footie-stuff-x:

Coco: I’ve only said ‘I love you’ to two men before in my life.

Coco: Joshua.

Coco: And a man in a dark club who I mistook for Jo.